People often ask me: “Why do this, the process of therapy, when it might bring up old, painful memories?”  I tell them: “Because what you don’t heal will hold you hostage and keep you from your greatest freedom and joy—the joy of being fully present and authentic in yourself.”

Emotional pain is trying to tell us something

It has a message it wants us to hear, which we may want to ignore.  Strong emotional states such as shame, depression, anxiety, anger and fear are often symptoms of a deeper unresolved issue.  Usually with its roots in childhood.  As children, we unconsciously make conclusions about our world based on our experiences.  These belief systems can “run” us, creating emotional turmoil.

When I work with deep emotional patterns, I listen for belief systems such as, “I’m not safe in the world,” “I have to do it alone,”  “There is no support for me,” and “I have to perform to be loved.”  I am also looking for access to unconscious beliefs through posture and energetic holding patterns in the body. Such as hunched shoulders, a sunken heart, and shallow breathing. These are holding patterns that can become chronic physical pain over time.

The first step to healing

The first step to healing these deep emotional patterns that cause us turmoil in our present lives is to use mindfulness as a tool to becoming more aware of what is driving our reactions.  When we develop a strong ability to observe our emotional “states” by creating some distance from them.  This way, we have more power to stop our reactions.

Clients are encouraged to develop a strong “observer self” or “witness consciousness.”  Familiar emotional patterns are recognized and linked back to the source.  Healing happens as the child is freed, both through having a different experience in therapy and through developing an inner presence.  This helps to give us the loving, compassionate messages that we didn’t receive as children.

Along with Hakomi and other experiential therapies, EMDR is a powerful tool for resolving underlying traumatic memories. These memories are the source of current emotional pain.